thisisreal;thisisme.
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yourstruly,
My name is SAMSON.AXELANDER KO
24THDECEMBER1992 
thflashbacks,
October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 August 2010 November 2010 January 2011 February 2011
lovedbyme,
Samson Axelander Ahxiang -jeffrey.BABY♥♥♥ -fabian.barthez ♥♥♥ -siokyit.tan ♥♥♥ -blythe.kimberly ♥♥♥ -nicole.tan ♥♥♥ -XINYI.penguin ♥ -angeline.poh ♥
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Wednesday, October 24, 2007
i'm back to blog after a two days. this is going to be a rather long post. seriously,deep down inside me,i'm not the person you people see me as.i may be down with depression or some psychological problems.i really do not know.i feel miserable. things that happened in my family,my sister having to see a psychologist because she can't control her emotions at times. my mother to see both a counselor and psychologist because she has depression.my father also has this problem.i'm just wondering.can these problems be inherited?i feel as if i'm seriously depressed and nothing seems to be the solution. many things happened in my life recently.i'm beginning to feel very very useless.as if i can be of no help at all to anyone. anything that i do,i'm just making things worse.after failing in math and science in my overall performance for this year, i've yet to tell my parents.i really don't know how to break the news to them.i'm always crying alone.even now.can anyone tell me what is wrong with me?everybody around me seems to hate me and they don't care less about anything i do. the moment my parents start to talk to me,i flare up and talk back against them.why can't i be a filial son and treat them better? i really feel like just let my life have an abrupt stop.commit suicide, let any passing car bang and kill me.why do i have such negative thoughts? i really don't feel worthy to be in this family.i feel stupid.i can't communicate with them properly.casual talks usually ends up as heated arguements.why is this so?i'm so fucked up i feel like BANGING my head against the wall.i can't even talk to my most caring aunt anymore. i can't talk to her for more than 5 mins without getting impatient. i dunno why but i'm crying like hell now.asking myself why why why. why am i like that.really feel like killing my self.i always bring problem to people but never any happiness and joy.calling dagu now. going to disturb her again.i suck. -basically i do believe all these is inherited... it's in our genes... you shud know what i mean... i been thru ur stage... committing sucide...? i did it many times... self infliating? i did it ample time as well... injuries all over my body... to me death is nothing... questioning myself many times like what you did? banging head... crying alone... i been thru them... you are not alone... dun ever feel negetive... things is never perfect in this world... we are not god... only god is perfect... we cannot expect everything to be in the way we want it to be... we cannot always make everyone happy... life is singapore is esp cruel... you hav to learn to be strong... realise the beautiful thing ard you... life is tough yes... but it can be beautiful as well... you may think that now is the end of the world... but wait till you come out working... you will thn understand what can be worst... treasure your studying life while you can... dun be too bothered by what other say or think about you... who are thy to judge you... only god can judge us... understand... if you dun... can talk or sms me whnever you wan... big sister - xInz*
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