thisisreal;thisisme.
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yourstruly,
My name is SAMSON.AXELANDER KO
24THDECEMBER1992 
thflashbacks,
October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 August 2010 November 2010 January 2011 February 2011
lovedbyme,
Samson Axelander Ahxiang -jeffrey.BABY♥♥♥ -fabian.barthez ♥♥♥ -siokyit.tan ♥♥♥ -blythe.kimberly ♥♥♥ -nicole.tan ♥♥♥ -XINYI.penguin ♥ -angeline.poh ♥
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
hey people,i'm back to blog.whoots. collected my passport today!sucked la. my stoopid face.lols.the picture made me look like a fucking ass-hole.LAUGHS~ seriously. i'm ugly and i admid it.lols.and the SOMEONE who tagged at my blog.you claimed i'm a dashuaige eh? i don't think so.hahas.i'm as ugly as anyone can get. i look like DABIAN.hahas.any one with me is just like stalk of beautiful flower stuffed into a piece of cow dung. hahas.lols.discriminating myself.[i deserve it though] i'm not some hunk or anything what.LALALAS. went crazy just now.i mean literally CRAZY.i was totally oblivious to what was happening in reality.i was simply in my own world.i gave a stupid attitude to people around me and was simply acting insane.well,not acting.i'm insane.i banged my head against the wall and bit my own hand.bite marks are still obvious even till now. i remember feeling so depressed that i wanted to jump all the way from to fourth storey to the first.totally insane isn't it.that's why i said that i went bonkers.was having real fun before that.went to the karaoke lounge at the civil servant club [csc] over at bukit batok.hahas.had real fun with DABIAN queen and HUIYIN aka MANGOQUEEN.new name for her just because she wore a mango tee today.i'm crazy right?HAHAHS. had to bother dagu again she came down to look for us when i was still chewing on my hand.the harder i chewed the 'higher' i felt.i'm seriously BONKERS. therefore,people,don't get too near me.i may BITE.hahahs.as if i was a GORILLA in the zoological gardens.hey,mark my words.i'm not kidding ya? i even took pictures of my own bite marks on my hand.seriously insane isn't it? hahas,dagu told me to control my emotions but not to let it take over me. i try to,but i always fail.seriously,i'm officially an EMO.lols. a mad mood swinger.irritate me and i may end up killing myself.if you people hate me,jolly well irritate me and prepare to attend my funeral..hahas. it's no joke.although i'm laughing.told you i was mad.for now, i'll just fake a smile even if i'm feeling terrible inside.will compress my emotions until one fine day when i cannot take it anymore,hahas.here comes the funeral. LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY :D. my motto in life, LIVE AND LET LIVE. :) god bless you people.[before you leave,please tag] LALALAS :D yuxiiangs.    i bit myself. :D
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
supposingly i should be happily spending my holidays and having fun now. but,instead of holidays,i'm stuck at school with the forward track programme. seriously wasting my time.the maths is just going through what i've learnt before. not advancing as promised by the school.sian.LALALAS.but bonding with my classmates is fun though!smile and continue with life.hahas.english lesson was best cause we could actually have something to use our brains with.we were having and enrichment class teaching us how to speak in front of people with different tones and emotions.sounds alot like a normal public speaking lesson.but on the contuary,it's so much funnier and brainy.hahas.we had to think of stories connected to a picture and present what we had.it was seriously FUN! my designs,ENJOY:   LOVES,yuxiiangs#
EH people,stop making life difficult for me okay,some of you should know who i mean la kay, i've left church already.so will you just leave me alone?i don't want any meet up,any calls,or even any visits.you never know okay,i may turn nasty if you seriously irritate me.seriously leh.it wasn't easy for me to leave.so stop bugging me okay,i really feel like a bird stuck in a fucking cage by you guys.just leave me alone can?stop bothering me and appearing in my life la.i left means i left le la.FINE!don't you get it,i've already stated that i'm not going back already.it means i'm seriously not going back le!so just stop all these irritating disturbance can?LEAVE ME ALONE!! i was so happy until now that you people wanted a meet up.it sucked okay.hahas.feeling better after venting my frustrations. :) love you people! 
Monday, October 29, 2007
i've left church.hahas. it's actually quite a relieve.i've been worrying about this and that and church is making it even worse.hais.it was suppose to be the most wonderful day of the week having to spend time with God and just to relax and have fun.but seriously,i'm stressed out!things that happened in my family recently,i thought that church could be a place to share my problems with my spiritual family but it turned out that i couldn't talk to them at all.yup.it's all my fault,my problem none of theirs.i'm isolating myself.seriously la guys.no matter what,i'm not going back.i'm leaving FCBC.but it does not mean that i'm leaving God.i feel that there is no need in contacting me anymore k?if i want,i would automatically contact you.but if you people don't want to be friends with me anymore then so be it.i will find a new church and lead a new christian life.don't have to worry about me.i know my own limits.you do not have to worry about a thing for me.hhaahs.life is much more carefree now.i finally feel some freedom after such a long time.i have been feeling trapped and crampped in church.finally i've decided to leave.please don't ask me to go back.i will feel seriously fucked up la.i'm just resting.i know.even god is working everyday so how can i rest?but HELLO.i'm just a normal human being.not superman nor god.i need my space ok?i'm agitated when people try to interfere with my personal life.yes,i know you people care for me but hey,there is a limit to everything okay.i don't expect you guys to go according to my criteria or whatsoever.that's why i chose to leave.staying on will just stress me out and you never know.i'm here today,i may be gone tomorow because of some issues.i have a weak heart and i can't take much things.i'm into depression and soon i might go beserk.i'm leaving for my own good and for the sake of the church as well.thank you for the happy memories that you people have given me,but i'm really leaving.bye bye :D.i believe god has a better plan for me elsewhere.you people may reject this or what ever,but this is the decision i've made and i will not change it at any cost.hahas.god bless the church :) yuxiiangs#
Sunday, October 28, 2007
hey people.hahs.it's sunday!but i'm actually going to talk about saturday instead. went to db queen's house yesterday and slacked.played audition till 5 am and then she carried on and i slept.concussed for just a minimal of 3 pathetic hours.went to work for lily and karen sisters.giving out flyers to people,letter boxes and houses. although it is not any concrete or stable job,at least i've took my first step.hahas spent the whole day walking around tons of estates when in turn i got 18 dollars. although it is not a very huge amount,i'm already contented.we,as people should not be too greedy and money minded.although i agree that money is something no one can do without.hahas.therefore studying hard for my future is worth it. after the working trip,db queen and i moved on to meet FABIAN at orchard mrt. he cut his hair and i just couldn't get used to seeing it.although it is rather stylish, [one side long and the other short.]but i'm just not used to the 'new' fabian. esprit was our first stop and fabian bought a pair of sunglasses worth of 105 bucks and he got it at a discounted price of 69.pretty sum isn't it.he's a rich man's son.hahahs everything on fabian must be branded in some way or the other. went over to TANGS, and i saw this shirt that i really wanted.  nice isn't it.but it was way off my budget.so my only way was to capture it with my camera. :D after that we went over to fareast plaza.altered my black skinnies there.u must be wondering i'm wearing it what.how can i let the tailor alter my jeans?simple.walk around in my blue levi's boxers.and that was simply what i did.hahas.lame ehh.just one split of my leg and evrything underneathe can be seen.[no more further eleboration.]lols. :D funny funny. went to heeren to have dinner at SAKAE sushi.due to my very very very tight budget, i only ate 7 plates of sushi.16 dollars gone like this..wasted,hahas.  on the way home.the two sexy leggs.on 190 :D  yuxiiangs :D god bless.
Friday, October 26, 2007
all in TWO days work :D gonna summaries 2 day's blog posts into one. hahas.have some very stupid photos to share.lalas. life is rather tough these days.but life still has to go on. hhahas.so i've thought about it.live and let live. smile.hahas.enjoy de pitures :D.  saw this when i went to see the doctor yesterday.style seh. 88 88 88 hahas.3 ppl in 1 room.went to the doctor's with kimberly woon.the dabian queen.hahaas :D quite something happened and we sort of laughed our heads off.there were 3 patients before me who went in to see the doctor.and when someone wants to come out of the room,they would have to turn the handle and pull from inside.but what happened was all of these three people before me actually tried to push their way out.their reaction was so funny.lols.after which we went to macdonalds.before we stepped into the fast food branch,there was this teenager before us,he was carrying his bicycle up the stairs.what was really hilarious is that he actually dropped it.then dabian queen laughed and said. HAHA.and then i told her,"and then you still laugh".lols.so funny la.then i was opening the door.i just lifted a finger and the whole door crashed against the wall.then we were both shocked.hahas,funny funny.we went into macdonalds and sat down.then she asked me,eh where's that guy just now.then he was right behind her.so i said.nor,behind you.den i pointed at him.lols.another explosion~
AT MY PLACE. just one word to describe.SIAN.she ate,we talk talk,took some pictures and the day ended with me sleeping and she went to mei sis's place.hahs.i'm a PIG!whoohoo.enjoy pictures. drinking the whole bowl of chilli my mother made.hahs.  DABIAN QUEEN using my phone to cam-whore.  TODAY,BORING DAY AT SCHOOL. went to causeway just to see Tan Siok Yit work hahas.rather contented knowing that she's doing well in her job except that the two stupid aunties applied mascara onto my eye lashes.and dabian queen poked that fucking thing into my eye and then i shut my eye the next moment,she forcefully pulled that thing out of my eye.it was fucking painful la!ass hole.and it resulted in this.
spent tons of time just trying to wash it off but to no avail.that was before i actually learnt that it is waterproof.kao ehs.lols.managed to was off using soap though.hahas.  
some interesting pictures took along the way,ahhahas. :D     thanks for reading! smiles :D yuxiiangs#
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
i'm back to blog after a two days. this is going to be a rather long post. seriously,deep down inside me,i'm not the person you people see me as.i may be down with depression or some psychological problems.i really do not know.i feel miserable. things that happened in my family,my sister having to see a psychologist because she can't control her emotions at times. my mother to see both a counselor and psychologist because she has depression.my father also has this problem.i'm just wondering.can these problems be inherited?i feel as if i'm seriously depressed and nothing seems to be the solution. many things happened in my life recently.i'm beginning to feel very very useless.as if i can be of no help at all to anyone. anything that i do,i'm just making things worse.after failing in math and science in my overall performance for this year, i've yet to tell my parents.i really don't know how to break the news to them.i'm always crying alone.even now.can anyone tell me what is wrong with me?everybody around me seems to hate me and they don't care less about anything i do. the moment my parents start to talk to me,i flare up and talk back against them.why can't i be a filial son and treat them better? i really feel like just let my life have an abrupt stop.commit suicide, let any passing car bang and kill me.why do i have such negative thoughts? i really don't feel worthy to be in this family.i feel stupid.i can't communicate with them properly.casual talks usually ends up as heated arguements.why is this so?i'm so fucked up i feel like BANGING my head against the wall.i can't even talk to my most caring aunt anymore. i can't talk to her for more than 5 mins without getting impatient. i dunno why but i'm crying like hell now.asking myself why why why. why am i like that.really feel like killing my self.i always bring problem to people but never any happiness and joy.calling dagu now. going to disturb her again.i suck. -basically i do believe all these is inherited... it's in our genes... you shud know what i mean... i been thru ur stage... committing sucide...? i did it many times... self infliating? i did it ample time as well... injuries all over my body... to me death is nothing... questioning myself many times like what you did? banging head... crying alone... i been thru them... you are not alone... dun ever feel negetive... things is never perfect in this world... we are not god... only god is perfect... we cannot expect everything to be in the way we want it to be... we cannot always make everyone happy... life is singapore is esp cruel... you hav to learn to be strong... realise the beautiful thing ard you... life is tough yes... but it can be beautiful as well... you may think that now is the end of the world... but wait till you come out working... you will thn understand what can be worst... treasure your studying life while you can... dun be too bothered by what other say or think about you... who are thy to judge you... only god can judge us... understand... if you dun... can talk or sms me whnever you wan... big sister - xInz*
Monday, October 22, 2007
 i am a MUSIC PRODUCER. whoots~the music i composed. lalas.the lesson was fun!hahas. singing will soon come in~hahs really hope that i can make the mark.hahas.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
CRAZY DAY OUT :D                                                     
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went to techwhye market after seeing the doctor.and saw this sign.just wondering.how come singapore's english is somewhat like china's when everyone is always praising singaporeans for their adequately demonstrated english.lols. we then went on to this stage,where auction went on the day before.because there were stairs on both sides of the stage,we each went on one.then that dabian queen was trying to act as if she won some award or something and was waving while she went up the stairs.as clumsy as she is,imagine what happened next.there was a loud thud and the whole stage collapsed.and BOOM it went.no la.i was exaggerating.she simply fell down and screamed OUCH!then i just turned around and ran away in the other direction without helping her.hahas.EVIL SMILE :D then we hommed on 307.
