raindrops
are falling like tears
As beautiful as a leopard; I'm dressed in a coat of darkness and I trample on the lilies of hell. In order to approach the place where you are.
samson,gao yuxiang. I HATE MYSELF
tag
bitch all you want
links
visit them too
past
back to the miseries
music
flows through my veins
well, i'm feeling bloody sian now.
hence,blogging.anws,o lvl results in 5days?
cheebye.die
my heart is bleeding like fuck.
well,here comes the few days before that fateful day where i am all emo and feeling ever so fucked up.it's been a year.and time flies indeed.i didn't really have fun last year and neither will i this year.i'm beginning to just detest my birthday more and more.you know why,because i hate my parents.the selfish bunch of fucking arseholes.all they think about is themselves.never once considered how i might feel.yes.they may have doted on me.treated me the best among all of their three children.but what is there to be happy about.they made my sisters dislike me because they were bias.i didn't want all this shit and they HAD to 'bestow' that upon me.how unfair can it get.it may have been out of a good cause,but it certainly isn't ending well.all that resulted was me,being the only son,pressurised so much,that i sink into depression,have bi-polar symptoms.and who is to be blamed?me?people always say that i grudge too much, i think too much,asking me to forgive and forget.but for goodness sake,none of you are me.and you never will be.you can try to understand me but no one will.because i am as complicated as anything can get.
i actually cry when i see parents with their young children on the streets ;held onto so tightly.the young child's innocence.that is something that i yearn but have already lost.i see the smiles on their faces and i envy them.i had wonderful times when i was young.with my grandfather,with my dad.all that is gone,gone forever.nothing anyone do now can retrieve that.i'm bloody crying right now and it sucks.it really sucks to feel this way.nobody has any idea how much i hate my birthday.17 years ago.on 24thdecember 1992.i came onto this world.here i am 17 years later.cursing the day i was born.people always say that i'm immature, stubborn, childish or what have you.but nobody understands how i feel.they don't understand how much i hate my life.they don't know what i've been deprived of over the years.all they know is to criticize and criticize.is that all i am to everyone?so detestable,un-liked by all?you may say that i'm overly-sensitive.but my senses are seldom wrong.people don't realise how i do not fit in to the society.but when i finally found a group of people whom i thought i could call 'friends',they proved me wrong once again.in this world,i trust no one.this is a world full of lies,secrecy,betrayal,hypocrisy.well at least this is the world i'm living in.
but anyway,i will be working on that day.just gonna try to forget all the shit and drama that has been happening.drowning myself in work is better than drowning in alcohol.
my heart is bleeding like fuck.
24thNOVEMBER2009
well,haven't been updating my blog for a long time.
i guess no one visits this site anymore do they?
i'll bring life back then! :D:D
i'm happy with my life right now.
but another thing.my birthday in exactly one month,
and i guess people who knows me well understands my hate
for my birthday.well,it's mostly because of them.
i haven't celebrated my birthday since like 7 years ago?
last year was an exception.but the feeling gets worst each time.
anyway,just for updates to random people,
i'm currently homeless and family-less.and yes it was my choice.
call me a coward or say that i'm running away from problems.
i don't really care.the more you don't believe that i can do it,
the more i will be insistent and i will prove it to you.
as i've said before,if there's a will, there's a way.
nothing can stop me this time.going back will only be an act of
cowardice to me.i don't need all these shit.
they should have treasured me when i was still at that shit hole.
not when i left and they feel "remorseful", "regret"
want me to go back?fat hope.well, i might consider it when you
-give me 1000 singapore dollars for allowance each month,
-hire a maid to clear the mess that i'll make in my room,
-let my boyfriend stay over at that place for as long as he likes,
-and accept me for who i am.
i bet that you can fufill none of these.correct me if i'm wrong.
for people as money-faced as you people,i can just dream on right?
hahas,i don't want this.so if you want,you come to me.don't send me
mushy text messages begging me to go home.sorry to say,i won't
entertain things like that.call me disrespectful, unfillial,
a brat, cruel, whatever you people want to say.this what what you
brought up.you only have youselves to blame.i don't give a shit. :D:D
i simply mean, my ex-parents suck.thanks for giving birth to me uh.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
well,haven't been updating my blog for a long time.
i guess no one visits this site anymore do they?
i'll bring life back then! :D:D
i'm happy with my life right now.
but another thing.my birthday in exactly one month,
and i guess people who knows me well understands my hate
for my birthday.well,it's mostly because of them.
i haven't celebrated my birthday since like 7 years ago?
last year was an exception.but the feeling gets worst each time.
anyway,just for updates to random people,
i'm currently homeless and family-less.and yes it was my choice.
call me a coward or say that i'm running away from problems.
i don't really care.the more you don't believe that i can do it,
the more i will be insistent and i will prove it to you.
as i've said before,if there's a will, there's a way.
nothing can stop me this time.going back will only be an act of
cowardice to me.i don't need all these shit.
they should have treasured me when i was still at that shit hole.
not when i left and they feel "remorseful", "regret"
want me to go back?fat hope.well, i might consider it when you
-give me 1000 singapore dollars for allowance each month,
-hire a maid to clear the mess that i'll make in my room,
-let my boyfriend stay over at that place for as long as he likes,
-and accept me for who i am.
i bet that you can fufill none of these.correct me if i'm wrong.
for people as money-faced as you people,i can just dream on right?
hahas,i don't want this.so if you want,you come to me.don't send me
mushy text messages begging me to go home.sorry to say,i won't
entertain things like that.call me disrespectful, unfillial,
a brat, cruel, whatever you people want to say.this what what you
brought up.you only have youselves to blame.i don't give a shit. :D:D
i simply mean, my ex-parents suck.thanks for giving birth to me uh.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
my heart is bleeding like fuck.
19thOCTOBER2009
some people just have nothing better to do don't they?
they spam people just because they have unlimited SMSes?
what DOUCHEBAGS AND S-E-I-S-S-U-P :D:D
fuck off BABEsxzsxszs.but if you want, BRING IT ON.
your PAPA ain't afraid of you.come on girlygirls.
manwhores.flap your pussy wings and come to PAPA.
I LOVE GAMES,TTM.hairyvaginas.lick my balls bitch.
my heart is bleeding like fuck.
10thOCTOBER2009
i'm back to blogging here.but not as detailed luh.
hahas,life's been fine,SCHOOL'S OUT! YAYNESS!
BABY AND I ARE GOOD.LOVE'S INTHAIR <3
hahas,life's been fine,SCHOOL'S OUT! YAYNESS!
BABY AND I ARE GOOD.LOVE'S INTHAIR <3
my heart is bleeding like fuck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QNHzx_oHwA
my heart is bleeding like fuck.
28thSEPTEMBER2009
i love my silly boy.
i'll no longer be posting on blogger as often alr.
i have a new blog.one of only some will know of.
it'll be as private as it can be and i'll be more precise about
my life there.blogger is boring and th people reading sucks.
so,TATA for now.
my heart is bleeding like fuck.